Friday, September 6, 2013

6 September 2013 Dangerous, deadly, diplomatic to the end

Cassi Creek:  Managed to get the trimming done this morning after the hike with Mike.  It needed to be done Monday but I put it off.  Yesterday Gloria found a dead copperhead in the tall grass by the heat pump.  We have no idea what caused its demise.  However, we really don’t want it close to the house dead or alive.  They can bite reflexively for some hours after they are dead.  Loki is not sure about snakes but like any dog, she’s curious and can get too close when investigating.  She was bitten, as I’ve noted, earlier in the summer by a copperhead that neither she nor I saw in tall grass by the mailbox. 
          Another day spent waiting for workers to show up to either re-wire and replace the heat exchanger on the pool heater or to disconnect the heater and leave it non-functional.  We’ve spent all summer waiting for them to follow up. 
          In looking about the internet this afternoon this caught my eye.  Hope you find it amusing.
John Cleese has it about right:

"The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person.
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