21 April 2011 Nobody knows - there are some things you can’t make a pig do

            It’s an easy punch line to a joke repeated endlessly in Colorado.    Coloradans, at least most of the natives I knew have little use for Texans.  The coincidental fact that they don’t have much use for any non-natives moving in is easily ignored.  For the purposes of this entry, we will ignore any anti-newcomer/tourist animosity that does not center on Texas. 

            Colorado-Texas Tomato War was a protest in Twin Lakes, Colorado organized in 1982 by Taylor Adams against Texans in Colorado whom she felt were constantly trying to change the environment of the state. It is considered the source for the bumper sticker "Keep Colorado beautiful: put a Texan on a bus. “ 

            Leadville Colorado may hold the record for then number of Texans killed as a result of over-loading small aircraft.  The supposition is that the practice of over-loading planes and then relying on an extra-long take-off roll and a long, slow climb to achieve the necessary clearances to maintain uninterrupted flight works in the flat lands of Texas but not in the 10,300-foot altitude of mountainous Leadville.  The error in flight planning is often lethal.  Its basic physics that causes the problem and that doesn’t change when one crosses into Texas. 

            The last time I was nearly shot by an idiot hunter involved Texans hunting elk in Colorado.  They missed my head by 2-3 inches, ignoring the hunter orange cap and vest that I was wearing   When I confronted them they seemed to be quite proud of their unsafe behavior, claiming to “do it all the time back home in Texas.”  This lead to my explanation of the term “recon by fire” in terms that made it perfectly clear that they had nearly drawn return fire, and that only the poor field-dressed weight of Texans stayed my finger on the hair trigger of the rifle I was using that day. 

            Only in Texas have I had luggage permanently lost on a non-stop flight. 

            I spent what felt like a year during one summer in Texas at Fort Sam Houston. 

            Now Texas is exporting teavangelists, textbooks for the Christian right, substandard education, and Congressmen determined to obliterate Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Planned Parenthood, and NPR.  These same Congressmen are guilty of doing nothing to require oil companies to clean up their acts in order to prevent more well blowouts in the Gulf of Mexico.  They have, however, voted to continue tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy and to continue paying oil companies to plunder national resources while making record profits. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/21/opinion/21collins.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha212

This link leads to yet another reason to return Texas to Mexico.  Imagine the upset in the teavangelist populace as they deny any racism at the core of their party philosophy then!