Religious Wars for $2000, Alex

13 September 2010 New season of Jeopardy begins


Jeopardy is a ritual event in our household. We watch if faithfully and generally do relatively well pulling the answers from memory. Gloria has knowledge gaps, as do I, that prevent us from hoisting a broom after every show. But we score well in concert. Her knowledge of music after 1975. She has a better recall for opera and theater than I. I’m better at remembering obscure bits of history, battles, and technical items. Neither of us does that well with organized athletics, team athletics, and so-called “sports.” We’ve a stock answer for those questions: “that Russian guy” or that “Russian woman” (Fukifino, Fukifinova). It’s vulgar, somewhat elitist in nature, and never fails to amuse us when one of us mutters it in response to a “sports” answer.

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve applied to be on Jeopardy. I’ve done the on-line audition every time it has been offered for adults. I always run afoul of at least one “sports” question, usually two, that leave me with unanswered questions that I finally fill in a desperate multiple-guess effort. Obviously, those questions have prevented me from obtaining the magic number of right answers that tracks me upward to the next screening level. Invariably, one of the answers is”that Russian guy.”

I look forward to Jeopardy as I do few other television programs. It’s a chance to learn some new bit of trivia every night. It’s a chance to push my brain to recall and spit out those odd bits of arcane and often useless data that crept in and set up residence. They’re welcome to resume squatting after they provide me the necessary answer. There’s certainly un-used room in my gray drive.

It’s also a new season of Jeopardy for our troops overseas. The rumors about Quran burnings have claimed lives in Afghanistan and in India. Not the image of such an event taking place, but just the rumor of it happening is sufficient to generate mobs numbering in the tens of thousands.

I can’t imagine how such religious fanaticism originates or continues to exist. Is it a product of poverty and illiteracy? Is it an extension of tribalism? What I do know is that it places our troops in a most difficult situation. A fanatical and easily excited local population combined with opposing forces that will intentionally incite anti-American activity means an increase in US KIA and WIA. The policies designed to limit injuries to non-combatants will allow small mobs to stop or delay military units long enough to allow IEDs and other ambushes to be deployed in their route of travel. The increased incitement will also mean that civic action units will be at extreme risk and the necessary increase in visible security precautions will alienate the local populace even further.

We, as a nation, we as an armed force, are ill-equipped when it comes to dealing with the fanaticism of populaces such as the Afghanis. The people who might best help us are American citizens who happen to be Muslim. They’ve made at least some portions of a reformation modifying Islam from a faith for nomadic tribes into one that serves educated and modernized. But the portion of our population that is poorly educated, easily excited by demagogues is doing everything it can do to prevent our Muslim citizens from enjoying the benefits of American civilization. They know not and care not that their bigoted behavior and openly voiced hatred of people who look and behave somewhat differently are also putting our troops in Jeopardy. The image they present when trying to prevent construction of an Islamic center or when demanding Muslims who are native-born US citizens “Go Home” is certainly ramping up the anti-American fervor among the poorly educated in Afghanistan and Pakistan. While our anti-Muslim idiots haven’t become the tools of a directed violent mob action yet, the probability grows greater every time one of our holy or un-holy demagogues starts spewing lies about Islam to the poorly educated. The season of Jeopardy is fully upon us at home and abroad.

I can make a joke about the knowledge I lack while watching the new Jeopardy season of shows. I can miss an entire column of “sports” opera, theater or other answers and grin while muttering, “that Russian woman.”

When our stupid have excited their stupid, or when their stupid have excited our stupid, I won’t be grinning and making a joke about it. The answer, unfortunately, will turn out to be: that airman, infantryman, medic, flight nurse, crew chief, gunners’ mate, helicopter pilot, aviation mechanic; woman, from St. Louis, Gaithersburg, and Pocatello, man from Arvada, Lincoln, or Jonesborough.

Worst case scenario? Perhaps. But unless we can find a way to defuse stupidity and fanaticism on both sides of the firing line we’re going to be answering that question more and more frequently.

For some of us the new season of Jeopardy is reason to be excited. But for too many of us, our men and women in uniform, it is not really a new season, just the old one amped up on fanaticism. For them, it is always “double jeopardy” and the “daily double” is not a chance to win but to lose.

I’ll take Religious Wars in the 21st Century for $2000, Alex!

“Oh, Oh, that Russian fellow!”