“Is The End Nigh? We'll Know Soon Enough
“On May 21, "starting in the Pacific Rim at around the 6 p.m. local time hour, in each time zone, there will be a great earthquake, such as has never been in the history of the Earth," he says. The true Christian believers — he hopes he's one of them — will be "raptured": They'll fly upward to heaven. And for the rest?
"It's just the horror of horror stories," he says, "and on top of all that, there's no more salvation at that point. And then the Bible says it will be 153 days later that the entire universe and planet Earth will be destroyed forever."
44 failed & 1 ambiguous end-of-the-world
predictions that were to occur between 30 & 1920 CE
Cassi Creek:
The Religious Tolerance website provides a list of prediction centered on the Christian belief in the return of Jesus. Their list ends with the year 1920, but they do include a list of dates considered relevant and likely by the Jehovah’s Witnesses group. These have all come and gone. The current hot number for universal disruption is now only 2 weeks distant.
There is a caravan traveling about the nation predicting the latest end of days onset. This group believes in the “rapture,” immediate corporeal transportation into the celestial heaven that they expect to find somewhere above the planet’s surface.
There are many who believe that this event will take place. The current radio evangelist, Harold Camping, who is championing the 21 May 2011 happening seems to have previously laid his chips on 6 September 1994. Obviously, his calculations were off or his celestial leaks were unreliable. The current crop of followers seem all too eager to overlook the fact that they should have all been carried away nearly 17 years ago. Camping attributes the discrepancy to his failure to read the book of Jeremiah. I’m not at all convinced that adding that to his summer reading list made any difference.
There are going to be some seriously disappointed people when the 22nd dawns. I predict a marked increase in the number of new prescriptions for anti-depressants. One need not be a prophet to foresee those profits.
Numerous offers now exist on the internet to care for the pets of those who are instantly transported. All of them, wisely, demand up-front payment in exchange for continuing pet care. I’ve not heard of anyone locally signing up pet clients. I’m willing to believe that there are people who are willing to pay for their pets to fed and watered until the universe is destroyed.
The recent series of tornadoes in the South East U.S. provided as close an opportunity to be transported skyward, as most of us will ever care to see. I’ve yet to see anyone claim to be eager for a repeat flight. Those who were killed by storm winds obviously were not transported into nothingness.
The approach of the “rapture” raises some questions of etiquette. What is the prescribed clothing for the trip? Will laundry facilities be available for those departing suddenly without time to prepare for the flight? Being suddenly flung into the sky can be frightening. Even the “righteous” may suffer surprise incontinence. Will there be a baggage allowance or must all clothes be left behind? Can family members go beyond the boarding gate to say “good bye,” or must they wave from the security gate? Will there be a security check to rule out the non-righteous? Will photo IDs be required?
And of course, what excuse will you offer on the 22nd when you need your old job and your old family back?
If you need to pre-arrange pet care, my going rate is $500.00 per pet, cash only, and paid in advance. I’ll also need a key to your home. I like dogs, and I’m quite certain I’ll be smiling on the morning of the 22nd. Either way, be sure to wear clean underwear.
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