1 May 2010 One tank from column A, two missiles from column B

1 May 2010 One tank from column A, two missiles from column B


As long as I can recall, May Day was the day to watch the USSR and Warsaw Pact nations demonstrate their military might. The celebration of trade-unionism and democratic socialism that marked Europe in the early 20th century was co-opted by the Soviets as a day to use parades to attempt to intimidate the rest of Europe and the NATO nations.

The USSR disintegrated in 1991, and with its demise, the annual intimidation by parade became a tradition of the past.

I’ve never had any reason to celebrate May Day for anything other than its socialist, workers, trade union origins. The pick nicks and outdoor dances on the village greens, as well as other raucous celebrations that have been associated with end of winter celebrations stem from other cultural hand-me-downs such as the Celtic festival of Beltane and the Germanic festival of Walpurgis Night. May Day falls exactly half of a year from November 1, another cross-quarter day which is also associated with various northern European pagan and neopagan festivals such as Samhain. May Day marks the end of the uncomfortable winter half of the year in the Northern hemisphere.

Not growing up in or working in agricultural –based traditions, I gravitate to the socialist traditions that evolved in urban cultures.

I still miss seeing the Red Square parades. While we lived with a reality-based dread of nuclear war between the West and the Soviets, we knew that at some level the Soviets were afraid of the same things we were. This made them reliable enemies with replicable habits and patterns. Trotting out the new weaponry on May Day was one such habit.

I can still see them, those old men – they were all old then in my youth – lined up atop the Lenin Mausoleum in Red Square. I can see their grim faces, their poorly cut suits, and bullet-proof overcoats as they stood there in a row that defined who was rising in power and who was descending from power. They seemed as afraid of each other as of us. They were all apparatchiks, party men to their cores – as long as the party wanted them; ready to stab one another in the back for power, willing to sell their children into party servitude or exile their grand children into the gulags forever if the party called for it. They could stand at a podium and speak for 24 hours, delivering the party’s message, Russia’s message, and saying very little of significance by design. They appeared from various bureaucracies s , clawing their way upward in the hierarchy as did Trotsky, Stalin, and the rest; then falling into disfavor just as rapidly if their power plays fell short and their nemesis’ worked.

They stood there while the ceremonial troops strutted by, goose-stepping across the square beside and in escort for the new tanks, the new missiles on their mobile launchers, the new armored personnel carriers for the motorized rifle armies, and the tube artillery. There might be a fly-over if Mikoyan-and-Gurevich Design Bureau (Russian: Микоян и Гуревич, МиГ) or Sukhoi (Сухой had a new aircraft to announce.

This was the annual intimidation performance. It was also the time for the satellite and client states client states could get a look at what might be heading down the arms pipeline to them. Just as we sold other than first tier weaponry to our allies and clients, the Soviets provided at least three tiers of technology; with the 1st and 2nd tiers going to their own forces and the Warsaw Pact forces and the 3rd tier of “monkey copies” going to the client states such as the Arab nations. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m glad the Cold War is over. But we could trust the Soviets to be somewhat rational. These current enemies are absolutely irrational.

Today, May Day is just not the same.

In truth, the remaining enemies with missiles are more frightening. Iran and North Korea are dangerous in their isolation from other nations and in their willingness to take the rest of the work with them into a nuclear war over an imagined insult or in order to create new Islamic martyrs.

The North Koreans do have goose-stepping down pat. Watching them passing in review in front of Kim Jung Il is impressive. They must be amazing to see and hear on parade, thousands of boots clicking on pavement, metal hardware on their weapons announcing their passage. Even their female soldiers goose step on parade. Despite the tight cut of their uniforms they march by with a magnificent factor the Soviets never offered. Looking down the ranks as they pass by offers an idea of how much force is involved in that parade march. If you look, you can see their medals and badges of award bouncing in harmony with their breasts. Somewhere there must be military fetishist videos and a rather unique market. You don’t see that in the armies of any other nation that I’m aware of.

If we want to talk about dour old men and bad suits, Iran has positioned itself to take that role on. They excel at treachery in the name of religion, far worse than being a party apparatchik. Their penchant for martyrdom and insistence that they are the spiritual descendants of the Persian empire that lost to the West at Salamis demonstrates that they lack the reality base we shared with the Soviets. We worked out a way to co-exist with the Soviets. I don’t think that will ever be the case with the Islamic fundamentalists who control Iran. The Soviets planned to live and armed their nations to insure it. The Iranian fundamentalists plan to convert the world to Islam or kill us all in the attempt.

Give me the Cold War any day. There’s no reasoning with religious nuts, be they in Iran, in Pakistan, in Afghanistan, Rome, or the United States.

So today is May Day. It is a beautiful day here in N.E. Tennessee with temps in the middle 80s. I spent the middle of the day coaxing remaining life from a rapidly failing lawn mower, then using it to mow about an acre of lawn. Tonight, we will red; we will eat in Jonesborough then work the gate for a contra dance. We’re still recovering from the Thursday trip to Asheville.

So, imagine our friends Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, just before some misadventure is stymied by our fur-bearing heroes, wishing you “Happy May Day, Tovarishch!